Oh How I Love You

I love this child to the moon and back!

He's definitely in his "terrible Two"s stage but I find myself struggling between enforcing strong boundaries and then being tempted to allow indulgence, since the days are limited for just the 3 of us. The very best thing for me is to outline those boundaries, enforce discipline justly and appropriately, and to do all with consistency. Easier said than done!

I just realized today that there are only 16 days until my official due date...Dakota Kate could arrive anytime between now and then. Typically my OB doesn't suggest going too far past the estimated due date, I think I'm prepared for up to 41 weeks if necessary; particularly since I'm not sure if I'm ready for 2 yet!

Part of me is truly sad that soon Mason will no longer be the littlest baby of our family. He jumped in the laundry sorter the other day and while normally I would make him exit immediately, I enjoyed the moment and realized there will be bigger battles to pick...plus he was so darn cute staring up at me!

Here's a poem I found online about the growing family:

As I hold your hand basking in the glow of our magical relationship,

I suddenly feel a kick from within,

as if to remind me that our time alone is limited.

And I wonder:

How could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then she is born, and I watch you.

I watch the pain you feel at having to share me,

as you’ve never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way,

“Please love only me.”

And I hear myself telling you in mine,

“I can’t,” knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you.

I almost see our new baby as an intruder

on the precious relationship we once shared.

A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing,

I find myself attached to that new being,

and feeling almost guilty.

I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying her.

–as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change,

first to curiosity, then to protectiveness,

finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine.

The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.

There are new times–only now, we are three.

I watch the love between you grow,the way you look at each other,touch each other.

I watch how she adores you–as I have for so long.

I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments.

And I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you,

I’ve given something to you.

I noticed that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.

I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.

And my question is finally answered,

to my amazement…

Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you–

only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time,

I now know you’ll never share my love.

There’s enough of that for both of you

–you each have your own supply.

I love you–both

and I thank you for blessing my life.

-author unknown